06-02-2009, 09:12 AM
(05-23-2009, 10:49 AM)Des Esseintes Wrote: This Old Evil House?
It sounds like a TV show.
"Hi everyone, I'm Bob Vila and today on This Old Evil House I'm going to show you how to secure your doors and windows against ghosts and vampires. Remember, most pretanatural beings can transform into mist, so they can get in the tightest places; Dracula slipped right through Renfield's barred window and Cathy's ghost certainly would have entered Wuthering Heights if it wasn't for Lockwood's quick thinking. So, be sure to examine your lattice windows and casements with a candle and any time you see the flame flicker or feel a cold draft, it means the glass isn't meeting the frame properly and vampires and ghosts can get in. For a quick fix you can fill those places with garlic or henbane; it's decorative, fragrant and organic, just ask Robert Neville. Long term solutions include painting crosses, magic eyes or the Elder Sign on the outside of your shutters.
After the commercial break I'll answer a question about insulation and soundproofing your bedroom sent in by Jane Eyre of England. Apparently, there's a madwoman in her attic keeping her awake with maniacal laughter."
That is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!